constant memory.

There was a Jesus and Mary chain dance night and no one danced and that was the greatest thing I've ever witnessed. Restored my human beliefs in general. I saw a kid with Brett Anderson hair with Calvin symptomatic humility fall up a dark stair elevation. And his hair still look nice. I imagine this is what my funeral will look like except funnier jokes ( lots of em) and better drink options.( Please make that happen. )

light.

orion's belt.

theres a small pile of things. I put them in the second drawer sharing space with my socks. and thats why i havent worn socks for the past three days, because I don't want to see the toothbrush still in a package. It makes me feel sad.

it feels like i tried to swallow a rock and its just sitting there.

bad morning/ bad feelings list:

tightness of chest.
wind knocked out of me feeling.
fast talking.
make a call. checking in with outside.
scratch a mosquito bite. alot.
listen to lousy feelings songs.
make playlist.
scold myself for giving into not getting out of bed. wallow.
scratch jeane's head and tummy.
feels like a panic attack. but you know youre going to not die.
hand are slightly numb. feels like half asleep tingle.
darty eyes. feels like too much caffine.
trouble swallowing. feels like rocks in my throat.
bricks in the stomach.

this too shall pass away.

i dont want to be your friend anymore.

most favorite things as of late.

bonnie and clyde.

going to the movies.

hyper goof offing off.

i make my friends laugh until they cough.

im perfecting the art of throwing my voice.

i love so many very special things.

i am collecting beautiful things.

so many thing.

I had a nice year.

hello, goodbye.

home again. home again.

we. we. we.

ahoy!

i had the most vivid dreams about these things last night: a castle made of bottles that i remembered from an amish village my parents took me to, a iceman frozen in a cube that lived beneath my porch, a collection of gems and stones that seemed worthless to most but true to me, and a sprouting tree of califlower and broc.

and i woke up wishing i could go back. it was wonderful. it was really really wonderful.

leotards, dots and my dog.

i fall in love every single day.