5th grade. mrs. herrings homeroom class.

i can't really remember what state it was in. she was mrs.herring though. i remember that much.

it was so embarrassing. it had to do with writing down phone numbers and t.j allen. and something else. she made me apologize for something that i can't really remember. all i know is...it was so embarrassing.

i was really pretty in my 4th grade picture. i was wearing that purple dress with the checkers on it. it was long. i was getting taller in 4th grade.

4th grade was really embarrassing too actually. one day, i started crying at school for no reason. i just got really sad. james tucker gave me some earrings at some point that year and i dropped them on the ground and ran out the door. it was really scary to me. we watched a video that year about lady's problems. The boys got to go out for an extra recess. our moms were supposed to come to the movie but i don't remember any mom's there. not mine at least. thank god.
that teacher was mrs. carter. It may have been the same state then too. i can't remember.

i've been feeling real embarrassed lately. sometimes thats just what i need to snap me out of doing seemingly "brave" things. embarrassment always puts me in my place. keeps me from becoming too big for my britches.

oh good lord. oh good lord. keep me grounded. keep me safe. help me to realize my limitations. help me to set up my walls, my boundaries, my solitude and safety. keep me safe. keep me safe.