I. feeling strange.

A. need to run off.
1. new york. red hook. 6th and barry.
2. Berlin. Mitte. Kastanee Alle, Oranienstrasse. prenzlauerberg.
3. seattle. island. vashon island. island. la push. the rainforest.
4. France. France. Paris. Ile de France. Butte aux Cailles.

B. need to find comfort, a sense of home.

1. california. medacino. arcata. san francisco. felt light.

2. chicago. ukrainian village. feels funny.
3. seattle. capitol hill. felt sad. felt anxious. too much memory.
4. new york. redhood. where jane is. felt free.

i have never finished an outline. i make them in my head, lengthy ones about my life. i could outline a million books in plot, character, motivations, intentions..but when it comes to life i move through , travel on. forward forward.

I have read 16 books so far this year. my goal is 55. a little more than one book a week. i am 

......

got lost last night on my ride home. 
went to a bar. a man asked me how i felt about nick cave and the birthday party was stuck in my head all day. but david bowie was on the system.

......

Someone is lighting firecrackers outside of my home. I could leave here. right now. i could.
......
Jeane winked at me. it was the strangest move. A pet, its the way.
Jeane. Im not sure what happiness is, but i look into your eyes and i know it isnt there. we tried and we failed. oh Jeane. I think you know. I think you know the truth, Jeane.

The difference is in the dancing when s.p. morrissey sings the song as opposed to billy bragg. i can get down with that. Thats sometimes the big choice in it all. the dancing.
......

I am so tired of these talks. oh my. so tired.

......

I saw the movie Tokyo!. 

Michel Gondy's contribution, of course, pokes and prods at me. 

I am spelunking in heart caves.